Random thoughts for Lexophiles

--I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

-- Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

-- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

-- The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

-- The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

-- To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

-- When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

-- The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

-- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

-- A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

-- Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking

-- We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

-- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.

-- The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

-- The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

-- The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

-- If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

-- A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail